Season 2, Episode 6: Losing It
Recap by Coops

Synopsis

Karen Betts is giving Bodybag a hard time about the Tessa Spall cock-up. She tells her that she is to go on a fitness programme. Hollamby moans about it to Fenner, "It's more like the Burma railway than an English prison".

Zandra is seeing Dr NoNo again, apparently she has low blood pressure and her eyesight is poor. She is gutted and tells Dominic that she won't wear glasses. He is relieved that it's nothing serious. She says she's given up drugs for him.

Nikki is still getting used to sharing a cell again. We find out that Barbara Hunt helped her terminally-ill husband to die and got 3 years for manslaughter. Fenner comes in and tells her not to worry about Wade, she'll be moved soon. Barbara doesn't understand and Nikki tells her that Fenner just hates her guts. Babs asks what Nikki's in for - and Nikki says the same offence, but "for real" [I am confused here, as she is a lifer i.e. Murder not manslaughter - life for manslaughter is unheard of].

At breakfast, Dockley asks Nikki who goes on top, her or Babs. Nikki walks away and Shell tells Barbara that Nikki is gay. Later, at evening lockup, a worried Barbara watches in the mirror as Nikki undresses [we get a full rear view, general consensus is nice bum but where did she get that tan?!]. Barbara won't even wash in front of Nikki and is now totally paranoid about her.

Josh is still wooing Crystal, and we find out that he has a house in Acton (West London). She tells him that he can take her out to Kew Gardens next month, and he offers her a place to stay when she comes out. Couple of days later he gives her a gold crucifix.

Karen thanks Fenner for saving her from Tessa, and he says she should get the medal not him. She is sceptical and he says "I'm not a complete shit you know". [Yeah right Jim, we can see your halo from here.]

At the group therapy session, Zan says that she has given up drugs, and mentions her personal officer. Meg tells her that she should do it for herself. Shell complains that women are always doing stuff for men; and goes on to describe her nightmares, about men coming into her room. She is quite disturbed by reliving it. Later we see her suffering the nightmare and waking up in a sweat.

Next day Julie J is looking out of the cell window and tells Julie S to look; she fetches the others to see Bodybag running round the yard with a fitness trainer. The girls are laughing then Zandra staggers clutching her head – they tease her about having to wear glasses and she storms off.

After Barbara goes to see Fenner about Nikki, he comes by their cell and gives Nikki a hard time, telling her to "keep her dykey fingers to herself". Unsurprisingly, Nikki has a go at Barbara, suggesting she might feel safer sharing a cell with Dockley, or a junkie. She finishes with "even if I was available, I wouldn't touch you with a cattle prod." *lol*

The next group therapy session has already started when Shell turns up, looking like Baby Spice on acid, or Bette Davis in "Whatever happened to Baby Jane". The skirt is shorter than ever and the make-up is all over the place. When Meg questions her she puts on a show; and Meg talks to her 1 to 1 at the end. It is clear that she was sexually abused from a young age. Meg tells Karen about her progress, saying that Shell is a powder keg who could blow, and needs to be handled sympathetically.

At lockup, Dominic tries to get Shell to go into her cell, but she kicks off at him, calling all the male screws perverts. Betts intervenes. In the dorm, Zan sticks up for Dominic before clutching her head in pain again. Karen says she might be able to get Shell her job back in the kitchen. Shell says she could get a knife then and kill Fenner! Next day the male officers continue to get a hard time from the girls, Betts says it will pass. Bizarrely the girls are nice to Hollamby, saying they'd rather have her in charge than a man *lol*.

Shell corners Barbara and tells her to get a marker pen from the art room. "Do you want me to cut your tits off and make curry out of them?" Terrified Babs does as she is told; Shell draws a moustache on her own face, then makes Babs write "Fenner is a rapist" on a wall. She then draws a stick man with an arrow pointing "right in the goolies". Nikki comes past as Shell walks away.

Bodybag's seen the doctor and her neck is painful - too much exercise! Karen puts her on light duties, supervising visiting. As soon as Hollamby enters the visiting room, she's on the radio to Jim, telling him to come and see. The lovely Helen is seating herself opposite a delighted Nikki!! The officers look on in amazement.

"Hiya Nikki."
"Wasn't sure you'd come."
"I said I would."
"Yeah, but it wasn't that long ago I thought I'd never see you again. You still looking for work?"
"I've got one or two irons in the fire."
"Yeah?"
[pause]
"I missed you Nikki."
"Missed you."
[pause]
"Since you left..."
"Well I'm here now."
"'Til you get bored of coming. Or 'til you meet someone else, like Trish did."
"Listen, you never know what's going to happen."
"Yeah right. Still got 9 years to do, remember?"
"I want to talk to you about that. I think you should appeal."
"I don't want to be getting my hopes up, just to have them dashed."
"Honestly Nikki, there's been a lot of cases a lot more serious than yours that have had a successful appeal."
"Waste of time, innit?"
"Look, let me put it another way. Will you do it for me?"
"I'd do anything for you... you know that."
"Good. Well that's it settled."
[the bell rings and Hollamby calls time up]
"I'd better go."
"See you soon."
"Yes you will. Be good. And remember, we're going to make this work, I promise."

When the graffiti is spotted, Betts goes to Shell, who claims that Barbara did it and drew on her too. [notice how the moustache is dead straight now, whereas it was all over the place in the corridor *lol*] Karen goes to Barbara who confesses. Nikki returns from visiting and tells Karen that Dockley did it. Barbara thanks Nikki, who says "I hate Dockley more than I hate you, darling, that's all." Shell is taken down the block.

Fenner finds Nikki playing pool and winds her up about reading a letter from Helen. [thought she might hit him with the pool cue, but maybe she's a new woman now *lol*] Later she realises it's a wind-up, but is still worried he might intercept her mail. Barbara offers to receive Helen's letters for her.

Betts talks to Shell in her office and finds out that her dad sexually abused her. Her mum knew what was happening. Shell's kids are living with her mum, and she starts worrying that they might be at risk. Karen tells Fenner that she has decided to stop the therapy sessions and bring Shell back on the wing. He gives her a newspaper cutting.

Nikki is in the library when Helen sneaks up on her.

"That's a bit heavy going for a no-hoper like you."
"What are you doing here?"
"One of those irons in the fire I was telling you about."
"You've got a job here?!"
"Prison Service professional."
"What?!"
"I'm working for area management, special programme for women lifers - I'm back on your case - literally!"

Karen calls Hollamby in and shows her the newspaper cutting. It's of the old Bodybag in a ballroom dancing competition!! She tells BB she doesn't like liars and skivers; and extends the fitness programme to 3 months. Best line of the evening: "If I see that neck brace again I'll rip it off and stick it where the sun don't shine." *rofl*

Karen comes onto the wing, as Denny screams [very girlie for our Denny]. Shell is on the G2 landing dressed in a sheet with knotted tights round her neck. "Come on Mr Fenner. Why don't you string me up like Rachel Hicks?" 

Awards

Top Dog of the Week
Helen - it wasn't quite a "Morning Jim" entrance but she wins out for returning more gorgeous than ever and bringing a huge grin to our Nikki's face; especially for the flirty giggling in the library *swoon*.

Twatting Twat of the week
Bodybag - not only does she have no taste in tracksuits, she gets stitched up by Fenner with that newspaper cutting. And she thought he was a mate - sucker! Although do we really believe that the dumpy waddling dwarf is a ballroom dancer who could give Angela Rippon a run for her money?

Weedy Pigeon of the week
Shell - veering wildly between normal psychotic behaviour ("Do you want me to cut your tits off and make curry out of them?"), and disturbingly recalling her abusive childhood.

Spin Doctor of the week
Fenner - first he saved Karen from Tessa Spall; now he's happy to drop Hollamby in it. Is he trying to get back in Karen's good books?

Worst Girl of the week
Barbara for freaking when discovering Nikki is gay; although she redeems herself by offering to receive Helen's letters.

Best Line of the week
Karen: If I see you in that neck brace again I'll rip it off and stick it where the sun don't shine. [*cheer* from the crowd]

Zan: She's wearing this tiny little skirt, practically frigging herself.

Hollamby: That group therapy's deranged her.
Karen: She was deranged a long time ago.

Worst line of the week
Fenner: I'm not a complete shit you know. [yeah right, we can see your halo from here]

Denny's girlie scream. Please, you're meant to be a butch dyke, love.

Warring faction of the week
Good Shell and Bad Shell - the war of the psyche - or should that be psycho?

Sight of the week
Nikki - need we say more? OK then, nice bum, but where did she get that tan?

Shell doing that thing with her tongue when she tells Babs that Nikki is gay. Yeuch!

Shell in her "Baby Spice on acid" or "Dawn French doing Bette Davis as Baby Jane" outfit.

Bodybag in that shell suit.

Larkhall Miracles & Mysteries
Shell's amazing pen moustache, between her drawing it and then showing it to Betts in her cell, it got an awful lot neater.

Nikki's taken up smoking again - first time this series. She'll notice the reduced money from Enhanced now. And she tells Barbara that she's in for manslaughter - but she's a lifer, which equals murder, not manslaughter. When does anyone get life for manslaughter...never. Or was it a clever play on words... man / slaughter i.e. I killed a man... if so, that English degree course is going to her head.

Nikki's dodgy hygiene practices. Please wash your hands after using the loo.

What happened to Tessa Spall? Has she been shipped out or just returned to children's TV?

The girls sucking up to Hollamby - hello? Julie J? She hauled your kids off remember?

Still no hint of a "twat" from Zandra... she *must* be ill.

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